Coping with loss and grief during the Holiday Season.
- Charlie's Warrior of the Angels
- Dec 22, 2025
- 7 min read
A Message of Compassion and Strength for Families Facing Grief and Loss this Holiday Season
Carrying grief through the holiday season is hard to even begin to grasp. It isn't something that can be explained, rationalized or defined, not in a finite manner. Grief is carried differently by every person. Grief can make you shut down, hide behind the everyday hustle and bustle of the holiday season or ignite your fight or flight instincts. There are so many variations in grief and from day to day, minute by minute, second by second, the way grief is carried can change.
Grief following a prenatal loss or infant carries the additional burden of your body not understanding that your baby is no longer there to feed and your postpartum hormones, not to mention the pain from delivering your child. As a mother you may not care and feel as if you deserve that pain for the loss of your child. I know I did, but your baby would never want you to feel that way. I remember being told the same thing and thinking but I failed my child. No, you did nothing wrong. I know that is easier to say than having your shattered heart understand.
It will take time to build a new normal. Your world is forever changed. As many angel mommies have said, "I have built a new me that allows me to continue to live a beautiful life honoring my baby, my angel." And for all the Daddy's, your grief is not to be overshadowed by anyone, take care of yourselves too. You are allowed to have emotions and to break down. Honestly, it may make your partner feel more "normal," in a world that asks, "How is she doing?" and not "How are the two of you doing?" Pain of loss and the grief that follows can be extremely difficult on a relationship. Try to remain the scaffolds for each other's hearts.
The holiday season is supposed to be a joyous time of year where you celebrate family but when you experience so much loss and grief it is hard to accept so much joy and happiness. When you feel like it is not possible to build a new you around your new reality know that there are resources and a community that is always there for you. Charlie Polizzi’s Warrior of the Angels is here to walk alongside you and offer guidance and strength along the way.
The purpose of this blog is to provide such guidance on how to carry grief during the holiday season while your heart is under construction.
Five Stages of Grief
Grief means a lot of different things to a lot of people, but one thing is certain. Grief is unique for everyone. The Five Stages of Grief is a universal method of explaining the stages of grief in a simplified manner, especially when you are traveling through them. The five stages are:
Denial
Bargaining
Anger
Depression
Acceptance
Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was the first to outline the original five stage of grief in 1969, in her book On Death and Dying. Others have added additional stages since then, but grief and postpartum depression are not one size fits all, but these are all attempts on classifying grief.
You may travel through all these stages in one day, hour or a few minutes, especially towards the beginning of your grief journey, or you may never experience some of these steps. You are not regressing in your journey if you return to a stage, it is simply where you are at during that moment. Triggers may be everywhere. Going to the grocery store and seeing a new Mom with her newborn can make you break. Know that this is normal but if you ever feel like you can't take it anymore or do not want to go on, please know that you are stronger than you believe.
This battle through grief, especially during the holiday season, is dauntingly heavy. We have compiled some reliable resources if you ever need them. You deserve them. They do not mean you are weak or failing, they mean you are putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how small the steps you are taking.
Techniques to carry you through the Holiday Season grief
Seeing a therapist following loss may have a negative stigma to it but it will help you build a framework to guide you through the recreation of you. Finding the right therapist for you will build a healthy level of support to help you through this journey. Your friend's or partner's therapist may not be the best for you. Having both individual and couple sessions could also be beneficial for a multilevel framework that supports both you and your relationships. For some, family sessions may be crucial, as family, while trying to help, may be impeding your journey through loss and grief. A therapist provides an intermediary that understands where you are at, while also providing explanations and confirmations on how you are feeling. These sessions may be hard but nothing about grief and infant loss is easy. Tackling these difficult conversations can help you build more clarity on how you are feeling and allows those around you to better understand where you currently stand in your grief journey. There are many forms and techniques of therapy which can be beneficial to you and your family. You will need to find the right combination for you and your family.
It may seem impossible, and you may not feel like you have the strength or will to do it, but you need to find ways to enjoy life again. Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your baby, that builds your strength to take on the day or just speaks to you where you are at. Go for a walk, take a fitness class, take a crafting class, go out with friends or just stay home and binge watch your favorite show. Do something you love. Your baby would never be upset that you are taking care of yourself. You are their Mommy or Daddy and that is the most unconditional love that there can be.
Another point to consider is that you are experiencing grief and there may be expectations from others to celebrate and return to the holidays of the past, not time travel, but be the old you. You need to make boundaries of what you can handle. Putting up decorations may not be in the books for this year. Going to parties or family dinners may even be difficult or even impossible. People may worry. People may question or try to diagnose you but that does not change the bandwidth of energy you are able to exert. Lean on your support system or utilize some of the resources we provide later to ensure you don't overfill your cup this holiday season.
Resources for those struggling with grief
Mental Health
For those that need immediate support following the loss of their infant or may be struggling with their own personal value and/or how to carry the grief of losing their baby.
Grief Share</p> — The CDH Foundation (Financial support through grants may also be available)
Financial Burden
For those needing monetary support for medical or funeral expenses.
Emotional Support and Community Resources
The journey through loss and grief is never easy, but no one should walk it alone.
Charlie Polizzi's Warrior of the Angels Foundation is dedicated to raising awareness, supporting families, and funding research. At Charlie Polizzi's Warrior of the Angels, families can find resources, education, and a community that understands the heartbreak and the hope of CDH.
Additional Trusted Resources:
Frequently Asked Questions About Grief and Loss during the Holidays
How can I continue to go forward when I feel like I am leaving my child behind?
This question will always be at the top of your mind, even many years or decades later. There really is no easy way to answer this. There is no definitive response to this because everyone handles grief and loss differently but know that whatever journey you take forward, it is not leaving your child behind but carrying them with you. We at Charlie Polizzi's Warrior of the Angels want to help you gain a better grasp on how to move forward in your grief journey. Resources are there to help you, please do not hesitate to use them when you need them.
How do I find the right balance of support for me and my family?
Grief and loss are hard to navigate, let alone navigating all the family dynamics around loss. Having the right balance of support through dedicated resources such as therapy, support groups, financial support and others. Once you understand your own personal balance it is best to create the outer web around it for you and your family.
A Final Note
Carrying the grief of loss through the holidays is a heavy burden to shoulder. It is not something anyone should take lightly. There are many resources for you that help you manage this load. Know that managing this load does not mean you are erasing your child, or the memory of them. Your child would want you to find a way to keep living to carry on their memory.
Moving Forward with Strength and Hope
It will be difficult. It will be different, but it is not impossible. It will probably be the hardest thing that you ever experience in your life. How would I know, right? I lost my Charlie in 2018 and every day I still wonder who he would be today, but I am here fighting for him because he helped to mold a new me, when I did not think it was possible. With the right support system, you too can find the new you.
Though this journey may feel isolating, families are never alone. With the right balance of resources and support, like many of resources provided by Charlie Polizzi's Warrior of the Angels, parents can face their loss and grief journey with strength, knowledge, and hope.
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